VTMAS No. 73: OMG! He’s Naked!

By now, you’ve probably realized that my husband is indeed a one-of-a-kind sort of guy. He’s been awesome, encouraging me to shoot for the stars, and despite the rough spots life has dealt to us on occasion, we’ve pulled together and overcome amazingly hard moments. To say our relationship holds an awkward humor between us, would be putting it lightly. The two of us can make a whole audience cry in laughter… and well, after reading VTMAS No.38: Gas On A Plane at an Open Mic w

VTMAS No.63: Polly & the Rat

I’m starting to learn that when I suggest something out of humor, I must be cautious to whom I give these snarky bits of humor. As we know it, in “VTMAS No.31: Who Did It?” that my intended joke can go further than I could ever expect. Imagine my surprise, when this very thing unfolded in the presence of my Mother-in-law, Polly. She has a wonderful garden out back, a deck right out her french doors next to a huge camphor tree whose base is wrapped with a purple passion flower

VTMAS No. 60: I’m Not Cleaning This Classroom

Picture courtesy of Pixabay.com by Werner22brigitte: https://pixabay.com/en/steinbach-mennonite-heritage-village-56641/ If you hang around me long enough, I am pretty sure you may know this story. It was one of those moments you suspect happens, but never think you would be able to catch people in the act. At this time in my life I was my mother’s janitorial assistant. There are no words to express how awkward it was being a high schooler and being the “janitor” to a rival sc

VTMAS No.55: Boob Juggler

I am a “People Watcher” and that is what brought on this whole thing. Whether I am at a mall, park, school, work, or even the bar, I can’t stop myself from observing people and then categorizing them by their behaviors. Not based on looks, but the things I watch them do and how they interact with their fellow human beings intrigues me greatly. I know, I know… this is why I attract weirdos… My husband and I had joined some friends out at a local club/bar named Cowboy’s. It’s a

VTMAS No.54: Put It Here Tattoo

This is a section of my life I don’t think I have introduced just yet in my “Val Tell Me A Story” Series. For a good year or so I apprenticed at a Tattoo Shop. It was a good night-time gig and on occasion I got paid for roughing out custom artwork or tattoo designs. Plus, I had been offered the apprenticeship and didn’t have to pay to be there like I’ve heard so many others having to do. On this particular night I was shadowing the artist Keith who was giving me the rundown o

VTMAS No.51: Savannah Gas Station

Sometimes I forget to warn the new relatives of my immaculate ability to have weird things happen to me. This was a tiny road trip that myself, Husband, and his cousin Jennifer took to secure some Pralines from the Riverside Shoppe in Savannah. That place has some mad delicious candied pecans too! As we headed out, Justin informed us he really had to pee, and thus we pulled into a gas station. Jennifer and I looked to one another as he exited the car and immediately locked th

VTMAS No.38: Gas On A Plane

We had just gotten married back in April 2007 and I was excited that I was going with my husband and his family to a reunion. I had just experienced my real first plane rides on our honeymoon to Cancun and here I was about to fly to Ohio. It was going to be my first trip that far north. “You know what I like best about plane rides?” We were waiting for our turn through security as Justin started to grin wide, the mischievous sparkle in his eye as he spoke, “When you pass gas

VTMAS No.20: Call Me Simba

Blind dates. Oh man, I have been on more than I want to ever really reveal…. but I will share this one odd phone call. My best pal Karly was trying to hook me up with someone, and it seemed anyone was viable enough to get my cellphone number. “Hi, my name is Steve! Your friend Karly gave em your number!” There was nothing but silence on my end as I absorbed this information. “I work with her?” “Oh… hi… Steve…” My mind was going through a list of let-down and refusals, preppin