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VTMAS No.20: Call Me Simba

Blind dates.

Oh man, I have been on more than I want to ever really reveal…. but I will share this one odd phone call.

My best pal Karly was trying to hook me up with someone, and it seemed anyone was viable enough to get my cellphone number.

“Hi, my name is Steve! Your friend Karly gave em your number!” There was nothing but silence on my end as I absorbed this information. “I work with her?”

“Oh… hi… Steve…” My mind was going through a list of let-down and refusals, prepping for the inevitable. “Nice to meet you…?”

The awkward phone cal started to roll in a more positive direction at first. He was 27, I was 19-20 at the time. Much to my relief he had an apartment, not at home with mom, but had room mates. Understandable, but then it seemed to start rolling back down the hill into the dark pits of… whatever that is down there, tar?

He worked but had no desire to advance, which always makes me scared. Anyone I know, or prefer to have around, always want something more, not necessarily a different career, but there is that list of goals. This guy had other things he was pouring his focus into.

“I’m so pissed off at my roommate right now.” He growled, as the conversation started to waiver. “I just, I just don’t know how much longer I can live with someone who can do what he did to me.”

“What did he do?” My interest had peaked, this might prove entertaining. “Did he lock you out or mess up something?”

“He sold my collection.” Huffing came over the phone and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was so distraught he was holding back tears. “My priceless Lion King figurine collection. Gone.”

“Your what?” I was sure I hear it. Lion King.  Now don’t get me wrong! There is a huge following, fanfics, and I am good friends with those who fall into this category. I love seeing the fanart of their fanfic characters, but as for someone I want to be with, and date. Not what I want since I am more into the Rough and Tough Mr. Fix-it sorts. Any of you who have met my husband of almost 8 years would know that Lion King is far from what sort of MAN he seems to be. (Though, my husband can sing all the Lion King songs by memory -,-)

“I had a rare glass figurine collection from Lion King.” Pouting he continued. “He sold it while I was away visiting family. Do you like the Lion King? You’ve seen it right?”

“Yea… I enjoyed watching the Lion King…” Rubbing my forehead, I wasn’t sure what to do to change topics, but I went shallow… very shallow. “So! You got any pictures? I have no idea what you look like and I bet Karly showed you tons of pics of me! Hahahahaa~!”

“Oh! You’re gorgeous! Your eyes remind me of Nala’s!” My inner anime-styled self sweat-dropped. “Here’s my yahoo profile BLAH BLAH BLAH.”

Nala, oh geez… Pulling up the profile, I almost fell out of my chair as the name read SIMBA. My head on my desk, I couldn’t stop myself from asking…

“SO, is Simba your nickname?”

“Yea! You can call me Simba if you want!” His excitement was a little too much.

At this stage, I apologized but felt that as nice and kind of a guy he was, I wasn’t looking for someone. I was as sweet and gentle as I could be, because he seemed like a great person, jut not what I was looking for and not manly enough for my tastes. Apologized about his room mate and that he should really see about at least getting the money from him, and lastly, wished him luck in finding a great girl who had the same interest as him.

After hanging up with him, I immediately called Karly. “KARLY! No more handing out my number, dude!”

She was giggling so hard, it seemed clear that she knew we would not be compatible. “Did Steve call you?”

“Yea…” Sighing I explained. “I have a funny feeling that if we went on a date and ended back at his place, I would be asked to put on a Nala costume and call him Simba…”

“NO WAY” And we both had a laugh.

As I said above, I have friends who are strong fans of Lion King and in NO MEANS is this to insult that community, it just was a stronger obsession than I would have been comfortable with in a relationship. I have Lion King, I love watching it with my kids, but I can’t see myself decorating my shelves with figurines and posters. In short, I wouldn’t want to waste someone’s time if it was clear that it would never go any further. He wasn’t a strong enough, confident enough person to stand up to his roommate, which was a major turnoff.

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