VTMAS No. 80: I’m THAT Friend

[Sorry, it’s been a while, here we go~!] I’ve come to realize that I’m THAT friend. Yes, the one you can’t take out in public without something weird or embarrassing unfolding. Granted, in my defense, it’s not intentional but at times it may seem like self sabotage. It happens enough times, that it definitely impacts my ability to make a decision on the second instance it may happen, which leads me to a double-hitter for this VTMAS. My friends are very aware that I enjoy goin

VTMAS No.76: Adam’s Hair

I talk a lot about my days in FFA (Future Farmers of America). It was a great time in my childhood and I made some amazing, long-term friends. Even now, in our ever growing lives, we are spread all over and we still reminisce about those times at the fair or in the yard working cattle. This comes right back to a particular fair that produced a lot of stories for us all. It was a strange Wonderland and so much smaller, stranger than the other fairs we had experienced. Alachua

VTMAS No.75: Drive Thru Stalker

We all know I attract weirdos of all flavors. This one incident takes us back to my Senior year in high school in the days where I drove around town in my big blue Yukon. My vehicle became an instant icon and a one-of-a-kind truck in my hometown. If you saw a Blue Yukon, you just saw Valerie drive by. It was easy for anyone to know where I was going or had been for the day because of this. Note, this detail will come into play… At this particular time, there was a boy who had

VTMAS No. 73: OMG! He’s Naked!

By now, you’ve probably realized that my husband is indeed a one-of-a-kind sort of guy. He’s been awesome, encouraging me to shoot for the stars, and despite the rough spots life has dealt to us on occasion, we’ve pulled together and overcome amazingly hard moments. To say our relationship holds an awkward humor between us, would be putting it lightly. The two of us can make a whole audience cry in laughter… and well, after reading VTMAS No.38: Gas On A Plane at an Open Mic w

VTMAS No. 72: Duke the Escapist

Another story from my Senior year in High School when I worked at the Veterinarian’s office. Granted, we worked with exotics, but that didn’t mean we didn’t have memorable dogs and cats. In fact, one dog always amazed me. His name was Duke and he was a large black poodle who was an absolute sweetheart. My first time with Duke was a rather interesting one. He had come in and I noticed something strange about his kennel cage: there was a chain and padlock on it. Naturally I was

VTMAS No.71: Link Wants M&M’s

There are time that our children get the better of us. Those moments where they say or do something so clever, it’s mind blowing to you. Often I find myself in that moment with a mixture of pride, confusion, and on occasion, embarrassment. Regardless, they make for some amazing shared moment among friends and family. On this one, Link, my three-year-old, managed to showcase this talent while Mommy and Daddy were no where in site. If you have been reading through these, you ma

VTMAS No.70: Our RockBand Band

Many of us so-called Gamers completely went nuts with Rockband when it first released. It was a cutting edge game that made it seem as if you could be the next Rock Star. To boot, if you dropped the cash you could have a drum set, but most of us stayed with the guitar. Even then, there was the occasional person who loved singing along to their favorites. What made it more compelling was the fact it was Multiplayer! That’s right! You could have a drummer, lead guitarist, bass

PowerPoint from Writing a Novel 101

Once more, I want to thank everyone who came out to attend one, if not all my classes on “Writing a Novel 101” at the Orange County Library in Downtown Orlando. I hope I was able to provide tools, knowledge, and inspiration at some point into each of you. Again, do not hesitate to reach out to me, follow my online sites, and know I stay rather active in the literary community. Below is a link to the PDF and PowerPoint Show files from my presentation for your convenience. Belo

VTMAS No. 68: What Was That?

If anyone is close to me, you would know that we’ve been battling this whole weird ear problem with our youngest son, Link. The poor 3-year-old is sometimes partially deaf due to airborne allergies. It’s the craziest thing, so naturally the doctors have him on allergy medications in hopes of relieving the swelling happening in his ear canal and sinuses that make the world sound muffled to him. This was about a month into the regiment and we were seeing improvement. He was rea

VTMAS No.67: Baby the Cockatoo

If you haven’t read far enough back, you may not realize I worked a wide variety of jobs, internships, and even volunteered myself out often in my youth. One notable job was my time spent at the veterinarian office in Winter Garden, Florida. I loved it, and as my first official job, it became wicked awesome when I realized I had landed a job where we were frequented by exotic animals and birds. One bird that has forever left an impression on me was the shy and so kind cockato

VTMAS No.65: Cow in Reverse

Most of my close friends know I was a fanatic about cows. I raised them, showed them, and even enjoyed drawing them on occasion in my sketchbook. In fact, my reputation had grown so large, I was coined the nickname Cow Goddess and became a feature in a friends comic once. One of the most memorable steers I worked with was the Chapter Steer, Beethoven. Yes, that’s me and the big guy in the picture. Here he was only 800-900 pounds, but by the time fair season, he weighed in at

VTMAS No.63: Polly & the Rat

I’m starting to learn that when I suggest something out of humor, I must be cautious to whom I give these snarky bits of humor. As we know it, in “VTMAS No.31: Who Did It?” that my intended joke can go further than I could ever expect. Imagine my surprise, when this very thing unfolded in the presence of my Mother-in-law, Polly. She has a wonderful garden out back, a deck right out her french doors next to a huge camphor tree whose base is wrapped with a purple passion flower

A Fisherman’s Tail

“A Fisherman’s Tail” is a fun, quirky fantasy comedy centered around some old fisherman and one newcomer, Tad. What unfolds at the end of this pier is both reminiscent of the fishing gurus of today with a flair of magic and a sprinkle of old man humor. A favorite among listeners when read at open mics! Feel free to share, plan on smiling and giggling! https://www.inkitt.com/stories/fantasy/98402 The peach colored sun had broken away from the purple horizon when Tad made it to

VTMAS No. 62: Squirrel Tattoo

Image courtesy of Pixabay.com by tpa: https://pixabay.com/en/squirrel-wildlife-nature-animal-498139/ I feel like I owe you guys some more Tattoo Shop stories, so here we go! At this point, I wasn’t doing any tattoo artwork directly, but was working the front desk and designing custom work upon request. Keith had taken a customer and his girlfriend to the back after I had acquired consent forms and copies of his driver’s license. After a few minutes, Keith came back, catching

VTMAS No. 61: Swimming With Manatees

Image Courtesy of Pixabay.com by PublicDomainImages: https://pixabay.com/en/manatee-mammal-underwater-marine-387195/ Florida is a melting pot of weirdos if you want my honest opinions. It’s a place where natives like myself, who were bizarre on our own, mingles with the retirees and tourists from all flocks of life. Which leads me into this next story, or life event. As you have discovered, a famous local pass time here is fishing. We have the best of all worlds in this hobby

VTMAS No. 60: I’m Not Cleaning This Classroom

Picture courtesy of Pixabay.com by Werner22brigitte: https://pixabay.com/en/steinbach-mennonite-heritage-village-56641/ If you hang around me long enough, I am pretty sure you may know this story. It was one of those moments you suspect happens, but never think you would be able to catch people in the act. At this time in my life I was my mother’s janitorial assistant. There are no words to express how awkward it was being a high schooler and being the “janitor” to a rival sc

VTMAS No.59: Firemen at My Wedding

I was one of the first among many of my friends to get married, and now, ten years later most have tied the knot or are doing so in 2017. One very special Lady is getting married, my Maid of Honor from my own wedding! I cannot express how happy I am for her and look forward to seeing her ceremony this April. In the wake of her Bridal Shower and early bachelorette party, I cannot help but think back to my own small wedding and the bizarre incident before I entered the venue. A

VTMAS No.58: I Was Bad, Once

You see that blue gorgeous hunk of SUV. That was the love of my life in high school. I had somehow worked it out with my divorcing parents to sell me the truck. That’s right, I had the title on that 4×4 beauty and I could go anywhere without the fear of getting stuck. In FFA, it came in handy, loading up fellow members, both in my grade and below, along with supplies in the back and traveling to fairs or FFA competitions. Ah, those were the days. Oh, but this post is a confes

VTMAS No.55: Boob Juggler

I am a “People Watcher” and that is what brought on this whole thing. Whether I am at a mall, park, school, work, or even the bar, I can’t stop myself from observing people and then categorizing them by their behaviors. Not based on looks, but the things I watch them do and how they interact with their fellow human beings intrigues me greatly. I know, I know… this is why I attract weirdos… My husband and I had joined some friends out at a local club/bar named Cowboy’s. It’s a

New Year Review – 2017

Another year has come and past. Though on a global and national level, 2016 was a nightmare filled with some scary events and we can only hope our fears and worries will not be as heavy as we expected in the 2017 time span. Regardless, let’s take a look at my goals for 2016 and see how bad or good I did along with 2017 goals related to these topics: BRASS COLLAR GAMES – http://brasscollargames.com/ Well, my work keeps getting stalled under a wave of financial needs and person