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VTMAS No.46: Martin & The Cow

If you’ve been following this series, you’ve already been introduced to one of my all time best friends, Martin. The best part was I actually took a creative writing class with him and we became great buddies, but my expertise of the Bovine sorts sometimes led to some interesting questions from my peers. This was the one time I recall having a conversation with Martin about cows while I was still in high school. I can’t remember if I was driving him home or sitting in class or hanging out in the Borders book store. All I remember is the conversation:

“Hey, Valerie.” Martin caught my attention. “Can cows swim? You would know something like that right?”

“Oh they can swim.” I blinked, “In fact, my Ag teacher was telling us about the time one swam into the lake after escaping at a weigh-in at the Central Florida Fair. Apparently some campers found him on the island at its center a month or so later.”

“Huh,” He started laughing, “Ok, can they jump a fence?”

“I’ve had mine jump over a eight foot gate when spooked with no running start…” I knotted my brow, “Why the sudden interest in cows?”

“I chased one through my neighborhood and lost him by the fenced in lake.” His voice was nonchalant, almost insignificant in tone as if this was a normal occurrence in a subdivision in a heavily city-isk area.

“What?” Baffled I pressed for more information, “What did it look like?”

“All black.” Again, the monotonous tone. “I opened the garage door to go for my jog and he was standing in my driveway.”

“Ok, angus…” Pondering a moment, I thought out loud, “I wonder if he escaped from that ninth grade center up the road. They have an Agriculture class with cows on campus. Did you really chase it through the neighborhood?”

“Hell yes!” Now came the boastful excitement and cackle, “I got on my bike, and I chased his ass Hahahahahaha!”

I died laughing.

No idea what happened to the cow – it was never spotted in the area again. I assume it was recaptured since I did make a phone call and confirmed the center had lost one and directed them to the fenced area my friend believed it may still be at.

Picture taken by Amy Stotler

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