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Writer's pictureValerie Willis

VTMAS No. 69: We Ruined the Shower Tiles

We discussed how we were the “on-site superintendents” for the add-on of a whole new master bedroom. The in-law’s were going “big” and if “VTMAS 40: Grandpa & the New TV” wasn’t proof of that, then well, let’s move on to Exhibit B… as in Bathroom.

The bathroom was quite a work of art with high ceiling where she planned on having a nice hanging chandelier and the tiles were reminiscent of blue and white china. A huge vanity leading you into the huge blue deep jacuzzi-style tub. On the other side of the wall from the Vanity in its own little room was the matching blue toilet and badai. Indeed something to see and awe over.

Between the tub and the toilet room was what my husband referred to as the “Bus Wash” with its many shower heads from all different angles and heights. That, and he told her she would have to invest in a scrub brush for washing busses in order to clean the thing. The day before they had finished tiling the shower, and we were standing there admiring the work.

“Are they going to put up a glass door here?” I looked over the walkthrough between to half wall pieces leading into the shower tower-like room.

“I dunno.” Justin walked into the center, looking up at the rain-drip shower head high over head. “I don’t think they need it. These all point in a good direction and far enough away.”

“Huh…” I walked in next to him, looking over all the nozzles. “Wow, I wouldn’t know which one to face in order to wash my hair.”

Justin started tugging off his shirt. “C’mon, Babe. Let’s be the first to use it.”

There was a naughty sparkle in his eyes and I looked to my feet where the newly grouted shower tiled laid. “Are you sure we can? I mean they just finished this yesterday…”

“It’s fine.” He fussed, motioning I follow his lead in de-robing. “Check this thing out.”

He twisted the shower knobs and the water sputtered to life from all directions.

“Yikes! That’s cold!” He squeaked them here and there, tuning in the temperature. “That’s better…. come here baby!”

Being the lovey dovey newlyweds, we started to have fun in the bus wash when a tile shifted under our feet. Breaking our embrace, we peered down at the tiles… the grout washing away and down the shiny new drain.

“Oh no…” I rushed out, grabbing up a towel. “Honey, what are we going to do?”

“Uh, I guess I’ll be grouting it tomorrow?” He shut the water off, taking a closer look.

“Oh my god… how are we going to explain this?” My face was red, the thoughts rushing through my head of making the phone call to my Mother-in-law. “We can’t tell them we were having sex in the shower?!”

Justin laughed, “I’ll just tell her I turned it on to test the nozzles… at least we know she doesn’t need to bother with putting in the glass door.”

Shhh, no one tell my mother-in-law!

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