VTMAS No. 73: OMG! He’s Naked!

By now, you’ve probably realized that my husband is indeed a one-of-a-kind sort of guy. He’s been awesome, encouraging me to shoot for the stars, and despite the rough spots life has dealt to us on occasion, we’ve pulled together and overcome amazingly hard moments. To say our relationship holds an awkward humor between us, would be putting it lightly. The two of us can make a whole audience cry in laughter… and well, after reading VTMAS No.38: Gas On A Plane at an Open Mic w

VTMAS No. 69: We Ruined the Shower Tiles

We discussed how we were the “on-site superintendents” for the add-on of a whole new master bedroom. The in-law’s were going “big” and if “VTMAS 40: Grandpa & the New TV” wasn’t proof of that, then well, let’s move on to Exhibit B… as in Bathroom. The bathroom was quite a work of art with high ceiling where she planned on having a nice hanging chandelier and the tiles were reminiscent of blue and white china. A huge vanity leading you into the huge blue deep jacuzzi-style tub

A Fisherman’s Tail

“A Fisherman’s Tail” is a fun, quirky fantasy comedy centered around some old fisherman and one newcomer, Tad. What unfolds at the end of this pier is both reminiscent of the fishing gurus of today with a flair of magic and a sprinkle of old man humor. A favorite among listeners when read at open mics! Feel free to share, plan on smiling and giggling! https://www.inkitt.com/stories/fantasy/98402 The peach colored sun had broken away from the purple horizon when Tad made it to

VTMAS No.51: Savannah Gas Station

Sometimes I forget to warn the new relatives of my immaculate ability to have weird things happen to me. This was a tiny road trip that myself, Husband, and his cousin Jennifer took to secure some Pralines from the Riverside Shoppe in Savannah. That place has some mad delicious candied pecans too! As we headed out, Justin informed us he really had to pee, and thus we pulled into a gas station. Jennifer and I looked to one another as he exited the car and immediately locked th

VTMAS No.44: The Brown Starfish

We had gone fishing and we both were geeking out that in the bait bucket there was a little brown starfish. At the time we had a saltwater tank at home and were ecstatic to get a freebie to add into the aquarium. We got home and the husband nearly ran to the computer. Uh oh… I thought as I giggled. He’s going to attempt to google “brown starfish” with no filter on the search… It was barely a few minutes when he came out pale and sickly. “What’s wrong, honey?” I tried to hide

VTMAS No.43: Don’t You Dare Cleanup

Mudding. Either you know what I just said or wondering why this word should be significant. Growing up it was the family outing to go to the Mud Hole and later in my life it was our dating, fiancee and married couple thing to do. What is Mudding? It is often a “sport” involving vehicle, mainly trucks, driven through mud holes or muddy swampy bits, in an attempt to not get stuck and get super messy. Strangely enough, it can be very fun and exhilarating and for the cost of a ta

VTMAS No.41: Sissy & The Turtle

I think life’s most wonderful entertainers, besides kids, would have to be our pets. In fact, like children, we enjoy watching them make poor choices in the most simplest task. We keep telling ourselves it’s a good lesson for them, but we both know we allow it to happen for that one epic or hilarious moment. We had stayed with my Husband’s cousins with our brand new Basset Hound puppy, Sissy, in tow. She was horribly adorable and the ears were beyond ridiculously long. Good m

VTMAS No.40: Grandpa & The New TV

It’s heartbreaking to know that my Grandfather-in-law just passed away on July 21st. One of my fondest memories was during the time my husband I were temporarily living in the house. We were in the process of closing on a new home, but the date got pushed back well past our End-of-Lease date for the rental we were in. So, we huddled into the small back bedroom with our two large dogs at Grandma and Grandpa’s place. To make things more interesting, they were still in the finis

VTMAS No.39: Car Ride to Miami

My husband and I had been dating for a while at this point. In fact, we had moved in together and things were going good for us both. His parents asked if we wanted to go with them to Miami to see the NASCAR race in Homestead. So we are talking about November 2005 when this happened. We piled into the baby blue Mercury Villager and Justin was shoving me in the very back, third row section swimming in pillows. “I can’t even see out the windows.” I huffed. “I don’t understand w

VTMAS No.38: Gas On A Plane

We had just gotten married back in April 2007 and I was excited that I was going with my husband and his family to a reunion. I had just experienced my real first plane rides on our honeymoon to Cancun and here I was about to fly to Ohio. It was going to be my first trip that far north. “You know what I like best about plane rides?” We were waiting for our turn through security as Justin started to grin wide, the mischievous sparkle in his eye as he spoke, “When you pass gas

VTMAS No.35: He Called Our Bluff

Picture taken by Levi at the time, after stealing Mommy’s phone… There comes a time when your toddler starts to leave behind the days of being gullible and begins to call a parent’s bluff. My husband and I found ourselves in such a position with our 4 year old a while back. We had been trying to motivate him to clean his room. Positive reinforcement – Failed; Sitting in the room and bossing him into it, keeping him focused – Failed; Punishing him – Failed; Time limits and a w

VTMAS No.34: Val Got Wasted!

To be fair, I posted about the husband’s time being wasted so now it’s my turn to share one about me. That’s right, she who rarely drinks has gotten WASTED once. If you’ve been reading these, you can rule out my 21st birthday as the culprit. Instead, it was my 23rd birthday that got me. It was Wednesday, and I was officially 23. I decided to meet up with my friend Alisha for a Chocolate Shot and then call it a day. What I did not know, was my husband found out and well, when

VTMAS No.33: Husband Got Wasted!

Everyone has drunk stories about a time they got wasted and had to piece together what happened via what your friends tell you. Granted, I rarely drink and even then it’s a one mixed drink and I’m good ordeal. It is this fact that makes me the ultimate Designated Driver for my husband, friends and family. One of the best moments with my now husband, was back in the days where we were just dating and had moved in together. “Hello?” It wasn’t a number I recognized as I answered

VTMAS No.31: Who Did It?

As a parent, it can be fun to feign ignorance to your four year old or ask a series of questions that will reward you with comedic gold. In this case, it was not what I expected to happen. “Mom! Linky pooped his pants!” Exclaimed my 4-year old. “He’s stinky!” Grinning, I decided to act as if I had not heard him, “You mean the Dog pooped his pants?!” “No..” He giggled, “Dudley doesn’t have pants! It was-“ “DADDY!” I gave my best shocked face, the husband unaware as he perused

VTMAS No.30: Baby Brain

If you have been pregnant, or know someone that was in their last trimester, you will know what it means to have Baby Brain. I can dive into the medical complications that cause one to be “spacey” and absent-minded, but trust me, its for real. It was during my first pregnancy that I got a really scary taste of how MUCH of my brain had decided to just stop functioning. I was sitting there, relaxing on the couch when I heard the sliding glass door open. My husband was aiming to

VTMAS No.28: The Happy Trail

Being in Central Florida has its benefits, including going to a theme park to celebrate my twenty-first birthday. Unlike most of my peers, I had no interest in drinking so it was a great plan to have an above average celebration without the alcohol. I had chosen to go to Universal’s Islands of Adventure with my two best friends, Martin and Karly, and boyfriend Justin (Now husband). Hours had gone by at this point, Karly had headed home, and now we were waiting in line to get

VTMAS No.26: I Broke My New Underwear

Having kids is both a blessing and a curse. I love my kids, but I have to admit, until they came along, I remember having far more patience and way fewer blow up sessions. Regardless, they give us some of the most awesome and mind-blowing moments of comedy that I can’t even fathom or create on my own. This particular memory was while I was pregnant with “baby brodder” and amazingly my toddler had mastered potty training. He was so proud of his new underwear. I had bought him

VTMAS No.23: Hungry Hungry Girlfriend

It’s always an anxious ordeal when you meet the boyfriend’s parents for the first time. I had met them a few times since our “Spicy Valentine’s Day” but here we were verging into November… and we are driving 7 hours in the same car as them to Miami from Orlando for the NASCAR race. As expected, my now-husband Justin starts giving me the rundown of what might happen, as well as what I should and should not do. One of these was to order food within my means and I looked at him

VTMAS No.22: My Spicy Valentine

Oh, my first Valentine’s Day with my husband was definitely interesting. We had started seeing each other the last week of January, more or less the first week of February. Me being the not-so-romantic type, I didn’t think anything of it with Valentine’s Day right around the corner. Poor Justin calls me to see if I was working, but instead discovered I had a horrible sinus infection. I could barely breathe, let alone talk. So, feeling sort of bad about it, I invited him over

VTMAS No.17: Dump Truck Full of Fish

If anyone here knows me very well, they could confirm I have a love for fishing. Living in Florida is awesome since I have access to several realms of fishing from Freshwater, Brackish (Mixed), and Saltwater fishing. As a young girl, I mainly did the freshwater fishing with the occasional deep sea trip. Nowadays, my husband and I indulge in brackish fishing where Salt meets Fresh. Anyhow, many awkward and weird things can go down and so I have MANY fishing stories. This one i