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VTMAS No. 7: Do You Still Have Your Fingers?

This is a more recent event, and it really shows how numb you can become towards your spouse’s quirks:

I was having a good day. For a change, the urge to procrastinate had lifted and as I hit a new peak of super Mom and Editing diva, I was feeling great. The kids had went down for their nap, at the same time and my phone started to buzz across my desk as I worked on my latest edits. It was my husband text messaging me:

Husband: Sorry babe, I put a hole in my new underwear. Sighing, it was no surprise. I had bought him a new pack last night, and he had been so excited to wear them. Pondering a moment I finally came up with my response:

Me: Do you still have your leg or finger? I could only assume he had injured himself, AGAIN. Every time he puts holes in his clothes, it was normally the entry wound or his idea of making a bandage via slicing clothes apart. One of the crazy things about my dear Husband, is that he bleeds like water. The tiniest prick of his finger can produce ribbons of blood running down his elbows. My phone buzzed again:

Husband: No. I still have all my fingers. But I did cut my leg open, see <INSERT PICTURE HERE OF OPEN WOUND> Shoving my phone away, it took me a moment to prep myself for another look of the gaping wound. It was placed high up on his thigh, high enough to have sliced through his pants, boxer briefs, and luckily, stopped just shy of slicing into the muscles. Sighing, I called him directly.

After a few rings he picked up, “I’m sorry, Babe! I am waiting to get staples put in now!”

Sighing once more I replied, “I’m never buying you new underwear again if this is what you plan on doing with them…”

In the end, he was given 13 staples. He has a new scar to show off and every thing was fine. In case you were wondering, he was cutting something with a fresh razor knife/carpet cutter and was aiming towards his leg and not away. It slipped and sailed through his legs. I told him he can wear the underwear and pants so he can display the scar… why bother to sew those holes up!

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