I can’t remember what day it was, but we had been slow at the Veterinary office. As my routine dictated, I came in, clocked in, and set to work in the kennels. I had only three dogs to walk, but I was super excited to see we were temporarily housing a young red macaw by the name of Cujo. Naturally, as would any of you, I could not resist the urge to try to make him talk or repeat. After about ten minutes of no luck, I went back to my job.
Ivette peeked around the corner, “Are you working all weekend, Val?”
“Yes.” I paused, leaning on the mop handle. “Why? What’s up?”
“Good!” She pointed to Cujo’s cage. “He’s staying the weekend, but we need to make sure we spend some time talking to him for the owner. In fact, he brought him in worried there was something wrong since he still hasn’t spoken a word and he’s had him almost a year.”
“Huh?” I looked over at the bird who cocked his head at me. “I don’t mind. It’s normal for me to vent to them about stuff when I’m alone. My agriculture teacher Mr. Mealo usually yells at me that I do it too much when I work with the cattle…”
“Thanks, girl.” And the day ended as normal.
Now, Sunday I was closing down and as I was told, I had zero luck getting Cujo to speak. Satisfied that I had completed my work in the kennel area, I turned off the lights and started setting up rooms and doing a pre-monday sweep and mop. In short, this was my way of stalling before going home.
I was in the break room mopping when I heard a man’s voice, “Hey baby…”
I froze, my heart fluttering as I spun around, but saw no one. Holding my breath I strained my ears.
“OH? Oh yea? What are you wearing?” My eyebrows lifted high, folding into one another in confusion as I listened on, “That’s sounds nice, real nice. Me? I’m already naked and hard…”
My face was red. I was speechless as I realize this “man’s voice” was coming from the kennel area. Tip toeing, my heart racing, I continued to listen to the man’s awkward one sided conversation as I rounded the corner.
“How big are your breasts? Oh? Oh I like a big breasted woman, oh yea…” Peering over into the dark kennel, I realized much to my horror it was Cujo. “Mmmmm, Mmmm, tell me you want me…”
I palmed my face.
Monday came about, I was far too excited to expose this finding. Cujo talked, and he might be saying more than the owner could have hoped for! I almost forgot to clock in before I found Ivette.
“Ivette!” She dropped the baggie of poop on the floor. “Cujo talked!”
“No way!” She picked it up, “How’d you do it?”
“Oh I did nothing!” I laughed, “He’s actually not-so silent as the owner might think. He speaks and repeats A LOT.”
“Oh?” I motioned for her to follow me to the break room.
“Stay here…” I chuckled, “I’m gonna make him think I am finished with the kennel, turn off the lights and give it five minutes and he’ll start up like clockwork.”
As I tip-toed back to where she was, we both clung together, leaning in as if that was gonna help us hear it.
“..hey girl.” Again, the male voice. “Tell me how you are undressing, I want every naughty detail…”
Ivette gasped, trying hard not to laugh as she lipped, he sounds just like the owner!!!
Needless to say, we all got a good laugh over it, but we were nice enough to tell him his bird was beyond attentive and that he should be cautious when “on the phone” talking.
Image from Pixabay.com by “condesign”: https://pixabay.com/en/ara-parrot-scarlet-macaw-bird-856574/