VTMAS No. 62: Squirrel Tattoo

Image courtesy of Pixabay.com by tpa: https://pixabay.com/en/squirrel-wildlife-nature-animal-498139/ I feel like I owe you guys some more Tattoo Shop stories, so here we go! At this point, I wasn’t doing any tattoo artwork directly, but was working the front desk and designing custom work upon request. Keith had taken a customer and his girlfriend to the back after I had acquired consent forms and copies of his driver’s license. After a few minutes, Keith came back, catching

VTMAS No. 60: I’m Not Cleaning This Classroom

Picture courtesy of Pixabay.com by Werner22brigitte: https://pixabay.com/en/steinbach-mennonite-heritage-village-56641/ If you hang around me long enough, I am pretty sure you may know this story. It was one of those moments you suspect happens, but never think you would be able to catch people in the act. At this time in my life I was my mother’s janitorial assistant. There are no words to express how awkward it was being a high schooler and being the “janitor” to a rival sc

VTMAS No.54: Put It Here Tattoo

This is a section of my life I don’t think I have introduced just yet in my “Val Tell Me A Story” Series. For a good year or so I apprenticed at a Tattoo Shop. It was a good night-time gig and on occasion I got paid for roughing out custom artwork or tattoo designs. Plus, I had been offered the apprenticeship and didn’t have to pay to be there like I’ve heard so many others having to do. On this particular night I was shadowing the artist Keith who was giving me the rundown o

VTMAS No.53: The Not-so Silent Cujo

I can’t remember what day it was, but we had been slow at the Veterinary office. As my routine dictated, I came in, clocked in, and set to work in the kennels. I had only three dogs to walk, but I was super excited to see we were temporarily housing a young red macaw by the name of Cujo. Naturally, as would any of you, I could not resist the urge to try to make him talk or repeat. After about ten minutes of no luck, I went back to my job. Ivette peeked around the corner, “Are

VTMAS No.51: Savannah Gas Station

Sometimes I forget to warn the new relatives of my immaculate ability to have weird things happen to me. This was a tiny road trip that myself, Husband, and his cousin Jennifer took to secure some Pralines from the Riverside Shoppe in Savannah. That place has some mad delicious candied pecans too! As we headed out, Justin informed us he really had to pee, and thus we pulled into a gas station. Jennifer and I looked to one another as he exited the car and immediately locked th

VTMAS No.45: Drive Around Midnight

If you knew me in high school, you knew I did  everything I could to NOT go home. This even meant driving around at random, as pathetic as it may sound. Regardless, it made for some fun adventures in the long run. On this particular night I had my hot Asian friend John along for the ride. I believe it may have been October at the time, we were either in 11th or 12th grade, but he wanted me to take him to some scary places. At first I think he wanted to visit a cemetery but I

VTMAS No.44: The Brown Starfish

We had gone fishing and we both were geeking out that in the bait bucket there was a little brown starfish. At the time we had a saltwater tank at home and were ecstatic to get a freebie to add into the aquarium. We got home and the husband nearly ran to the computer. Uh oh… I thought as I giggled. He’s going to attempt to google “brown starfish” with no filter on the search… It was barely a few minutes when he came out pale and sickly. “What’s wrong, honey?” I tried to hide

VTMAS No.43: Don’t You Dare Cleanup

Mudding. Either you know what I just said or wondering why this word should be significant. Growing up it was the family outing to go to the Mud Hole and later in my life it was our dating, fiancee and married couple thing to do. What is Mudding? It is often a “sport” involving vehicle, mainly trucks, driven through mud holes or muddy swampy bits, in an attempt to not get stuck and get super messy. Strangely enough, it can be very fun and exhilarating and for the cost of a ta

VTMAS No.42: The Scooter Gang

We’ve all been on family vacations, but occasionally one comes along that leaves a lasting impression. Being in Florida, going to the Beach was at least a must once a year. I was still in high school and my mother’s boyfriend, coined “Papa Jon”, had his son Cody down as well. It was instantly decided we would be taking a “family vacation” to Daytona Beach. It was a gorgeous clear day, the sand hot under your feet, the waves rolling in weren’t too wild or choppy, and we were h

VTMAS No.41: Sissy & The Turtle

I think life’s most wonderful entertainers, besides kids, would have to be our pets. In fact, like children, we enjoy watching them make poor choices in the most simplest task. We keep telling ourselves it’s a good lesson for them, but we both know we allow it to happen for that one epic or hilarious moment. We had stayed with my Husband’s cousins with our brand new Basset Hound puppy, Sissy, in tow. She was horribly adorable and the ears were beyond ridiculously long. Good m

VTMAS No.40: Grandpa & The New TV

It’s heartbreaking to know that my Grandfather-in-law just passed away on July 21st. One of my fondest memories was during the time my husband I were temporarily living in the house. We were in the process of closing on a new home, but the date got pushed back well past our End-of-Lease date for the rental we were in. So, we huddled into the small back bedroom with our two large dogs at Grandma and Grandpa’s place. To make things more interesting, they were still in the finis

VTMAS No.39: Car Ride to Miami

My husband and I had been dating for a while at this point. In fact, we had moved in together and things were going good for us both. His parents asked if we wanted to go with them to Miami to see the NASCAR race in Homestead. So we are talking about November 2005 when this happened. We piled into the baby blue Mercury Villager and Justin was shoving me in the very back, third row section swimming in pillows. “I can’t even see out the windows.” I huffed. “I don’t understand w

VTMAS No.38: Gas On A Plane

We had just gotten married back in April 2007 and I was excited that I was going with my husband and his family to a reunion. I had just experienced my real first plane rides on our honeymoon to Cancun and here I was about to fly to Ohio. It was going to be my first trip that far north. “You know what I like best about plane rides?” We were waiting for our turn through security as Justin started to grin wide, the mischievous sparkle in his eye as he spoke, “When you pass gas

VTMAS No.37: Not the Average Door Salesman

As proof that my odd and bizarre luck still comes into my life, today’s story happened this past weekend. I was zoning out on the computer as my husband headed out the door to go do one of his manly runs to home depot when he stopped halfway through the doorway. This caught my attention, so I watched as he visibly stared at the ground, and then shook his head looked again. Leaning back in the door he asked, “Honey, can you come out here a minute?” Furrowing my brow I replied,

VTMAS No.36: The Day The Grass Parted

My uncle Ymmit and I were asked to investigate what happened to the cats at my Great Grandmother’s home. She had been a safehouse for captured ferals who the humane society spayed or neutered and brought to her property to live. We had gotten a call asking where the cats had gone, and well, none of us had really stopped to consider what to do with them after she was submitted into the Nursing Home with dementia. It wasn’t like they weren’t being fed. The no-kill arrangement w

VTMAS No.35: He Called Our Bluff

Picture taken by Levi at the time, after stealing Mommy’s phone… There comes a time when your toddler starts to leave behind the days of being gullible and begins to call a parent’s bluff. My husband and I found ourselves in such a position with our 4 year old a while back. We had been trying to motivate him to clean his room. Positive reinforcement – Failed; Sitting in the room and bossing him into it, keeping him focused – Failed; Punishing him – Failed; Time limits and a w

VTMAS No.34: Val Got Wasted!

To be fair, I posted about the husband’s time being wasted so now it’s my turn to share one about me. That’s right, she who rarely drinks has gotten WASTED once. If you’ve been reading these, you can rule out my 21st birthday as the culprit. Instead, it was my 23rd birthday that got me. It was Wednesday, and I was officially 23. I decided to meet up with my friend Alisha for a Chocolate Shot and then call it a day. What I did not know, was my husband found out and well, when

A Short-lived Treasure Hunt

Short Story, Humor The cell phone was ringing again. Florida summer heat brought in a wave of friends and family calling for favors, but this time it was Alvin. With a sigh, Jay answered, “Hey Al!” “Man, I hate to ask…” Alvin’s tone of voice was equal to a grimace on a face. “It’s my Air Conditioner…” Rubbing his forehead, Jay retorted, “Lightning didn’t hit it again, did it?” There was silence on the other end. The heat of Alvin’s frustrations coming through with no words ne

VTMAS No.33: Husband Got Wasted!

Everyone has drunk stories about a time they got wasted and had to piece together what happened via what your friends tell you. Granted, I rarely drink and even then it’s a one mixed drink and I’m good ordeal. It is this fact that makes me the ultimate Designated Driver for my husband, friends and family. One of the best moments with my now husband, was back in the days where we were just dating and had moved in together. “Hello?” It wasn’t a number I recognized as I answered

VTMAS No.32: The Manatees

I love to go fishing, so there will be plenty of fishing stories to share. If you have no clue what a manatee or dugong is, pretty much they are big grey underwater cows that graze freely in the waters around Florida’s coast. We often fish the brackish waters of the intracoastal where estuaries house manatees and dolphins with their newborn babies. Where am I going with this? Well, being the lucky person I am, without fail one thing usually happens while cast out my line…. I