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VTMAS No.15: The Potty Dilemma

Men all know the envious and jealous stares they get for the ease in which they can pee anywhere. Here is my comical story of trying to find some place to relieve myself. We were on the long drive to Gainesville, Florida, about three hours before we would get to my Dad’s house. The Okahumpka (Yes, this is a town in Florida) rest stop had came and went and we had hit the desolate part of Florida’s Turnpike. If you’ve driven on this expressway, you know it has many desolate spa

VTMAS No.14: Carnie Confusion

I must admit, that my experience at one particular fair gave me several stories to milk. Granted my friends and peers who were also there are starting to wonder why on earth I would remember any of this. Forgive me, but I know you are all enjoying this as much as I am! So there we are, at the same little fair in the middle of the woods that “Val, Tell me a story…” No. 3 took place at, so that should tell more about the sort of Carnies we were mingling and working beside. “Val

VTMAS No.11: Sailor Jupiter Took My Keys

KEYS. Let’s talk about those things we need for our front doors and to drive our cars: keys! I am well-known for misplacing my keys in weird places, and thus if you have ever seen my keys you know why they look so obnoxious. I have a huge orange cattle tag, a Gearbox lanyard, and all sorts of flashy items on them in hopes they are easier to find. Despite my anti-lost-keys system, it has backfired on me once. In high school, as I have mentioned in other stories, I was very act

VTMAS No. 7: Do You Still Have Your Fingers?

This is a more recent event, and it really shows how numb you can become towards your spouse’s quirks: I was having a good day. For a change, the urge to procrastinate had lifted and as I hit a new peak of super Mom and Editing diva, I was feeling great. The kids had went down for their nap, at the same time and my phone started to buzz across my desk as I worked on my latest edits. It was my husband text messaging me: Husband: Sorry babe, I put a hole in my new underwear. S

VTMAS No.2: Knights, Warlocks, & Outlaws

Looking at my watch, I eagerly looked out the glass windows and doors wondering where Larry was. The phone rang, and with much relief it was him. He was on his way, just running late. It was fine, considering he had been in a motorcycle accident, but I didn’t want to work the first day of Bike Week solo at the Harley Davidson shop on I-Drive, Orlando’s Tourist Alley. With a deep sigh I mustered a smile at the waiting customers, a gang of 5 Outlaws (A biker gang). They came in

VTMAS No. 1: Good Morning SWAT Team

NOTE: I had only been living there for 2 months… if that: I had stayed up far too late, so I was half asleep as I rolled out of bed at 5:45 am. All I could echo in my head was, “Val, don’t forget to grab your purse out of Sean’s truck and put it in the car.”.  Apparently I was moving in slow motion or something because as I sat there copying files to my Portable Drive I realized it was close to 6:30 pm. I opened the passenger side of the car, readying myself to grab my purse

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